Appreciative joy is a mental state that can be cultivated towards all beings.
A joyful and peaceful mind is an outcome of seeing, hearing or suspecting that others are being happy, cheerful and joyous.
The personal evolves into the impersonal with time and exposure to awareness. The less "you" do about this process, the quicker it happens on its own. Simply say when a state of mind arises, "Is this about me?" In one way it is, in another way it is not. Be willing to see both tendencies and investigate each.
The teaching of Anatta (not self) points to the fact that from the perspective of ultimate reality we are not separate entities to whom life happens. All the people in our life who’ve inspired and impacted us live through us even after they are gone. And we in turn impact the lives of many others and live through them. This talk includes a guided practice to understand anatta from this perspective—that the love we’ve received from others and pass on doesn’t belong to any of us.
James dedicated this talk to his father Arnold, who would have been 93 today; it begins with a moving reminiscence of their relationship.