Two questions about worry: Q1 Anxiety creeps in and brings imbalance and I fail to immediately recognize the signs. What can you advise? Q2 [continues] When sitting I go through the worry of being a failed mother of a grown-up child. Aversion, and craving how I'd like to see things different. I'm trying to be with these thoughts rather than in them. The inner tyrant exaggerates the situation. How do I deal with the worry? 16:47 Q3 Please explain about, and in what way, consciousness is an element. I've heard Ajahn Sumedho say it is an element. 30:34 Q4 Relationships are complicated and painful. However as my "don't take your life personally" practice goes on, it seems people around me can present problematic relationships. Another one: I've been experiencing feelings of being a misfit. Your speaking about personality as a "me bag" was illuminating and a release from taking it personally. But if I withdraw from others, I meet my inner critic and get berated for not fitting in. So I'm lost either way! Q5 38:03 I've become aware of a familiar feeling of being trapped as a result of my work situation. I can feel it and yet feel at ease at the same time. This was deeply heartening. Q5 41:02 Sometimes when you are talking there's a sharp nasal blowing sound. What's happening? It's quite jolting to the nerves as I'm listening. Also I noticed that you often laugh when things are distressing? What is this about? I don't mean to be respectful.

In this talk we explore the roots of self-judgment, and the ways in which mindfulness, loving kindness, and the recognition of our shared humanity and inner goodness can work together to alleviate the critical mind. This talk was given at a metta retreat so it pays particular attention to using metta to heal the inner critic when obstacles arise .

Includes suggestions for practicing with comparing mind and the inner critic

Evening Talk

Exploring comparing mind and the inner critic as aspects of clinging to self-view

Q1: You seem to be talking about citta as a persisting permanent thing not as arising every split second. Any comments? 11:34 Q2: How can I deal with not fully maintaining Buddhist standards after the retreat? 17:27 Q3: You said: Keep warming what can be warmed and the things that can't release yet ... it's not ready. Could you elaborate more on this please? 24:08 Q4: You wrote a book called Unseating the Inner Tyrant. The critic consumes a lot of energy. How do you restore that energy after a rage? Is there a shorter path to finding balance? 32:59 Q5: There's a lot of fear in my citta. How come? 34:46 Q6: I was afraid of coming to this retreat, and now I'm afraid of going out. 38:16 Q7: What is the relationship between tanha, craving, as the fundamental cause of dukkha and the three root kelasa, defilements, based on the scriptures and or their experience for interpretation? 47:51 Q 8: What is the effect of serious illness physical and psychological on the citta? Can they limit or make it impossible to take care of the citta?