Wise speech is an integral part of the traditional Buddhist path of awakening and a powerful way to energize our daily life practice, but is often underdeveloped in Western Buddhist practice. We’ll look in a very practical way at three aspects of wise speech: (1) developing presence in the midst of communication; (2) working with the four guidelines for skillful speech developed by the Buddha; and (3) becoming more mindful of and skillful with thoughts and emotions occurring during communication. For each of the foundations, a number of ways of practicing are offered. The talk is followed by discussion.

In the final session of this series, teachers Ronya Banks and Donald Rothberg offer a number of resources that can help one navigate these times and the conflict between Israel and Palestinians. After a brief period of meditation, we offer four teachings and practices, each first explored through teachings and then briefly guided experientially: (1) the teaching of the Two Arrows and Dependent Origination pointing to the nature of reactivity--habitual and often unconscious grasping after the pleasant and pushing away the unpleasant or painful; (2) the teachings about attachment to views; (3) the cultivation of wise speech and empathy, increasingly pointing toward universal empathy and what Dr. King called the "beloved community"; and (4) practicing with difficult emotions, body states (including traumatic reactions), and thoughts. These teachings and practices are followed by a period of discussion, closing intentions, and the dedication of merit.

We begin by acknowledging the importance of Wise Speech practice, and then outline four foundations of Wise Speech that we've explored in previous talks. We then review how we can bring Wise Speech into difficult or challenging situations. The last half of the talk goes further, and explores how we can bring aspects of Wise Speech into situations of social and political polarization, including in our present time in the U.S. (and other countries). We watch two brief videos. The first is a selection from "A Force More Powerful" (a 6-part series on nonviolent action), on a moment of powerful empathic yet firm speech from Diane Nash at a critical moment in the Civil Rights movement in Nashville in 1960 (go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4dDVeAU3u4&t=3082s, with the video shared going from 43:04 to 48:58). The second is a brief contemporary account of an experience of "deep canvassing" (and deep listening) by Caitlin Homrich-Kneileng in rural Michigan (go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no0NzGhwobA). This is followed by discussion.

We first review four foundations of wise speech: (1) developing presence in the midst of communication; (2) working with the four guidelines for skillful speech developed by the Buddha; (3) bringing our mindfulness and skillful responses to our thoughts, emotions, and body states into our speech practice; and (4) empathy practice, tuning into others' and our own emotions and sense of "what matters." We then explore the importance of being with challenges and difficulties in our practice generally, and do two exercises exploring a difficult or challenging interaction with another, including working with an "empathy map." Discussion follows. (Materials on emotions [or feelings], needs, and an "empathy map" are given below, under "documents.")

We first focus on the importance of the practice of wise speech and then review three foundations of such practice: (1) developing presence in the midst of communication; (2) working with the four guidelines for skillful speech developed by the Buddha; and (3) integrating our practice to be mindful and skillful with thoughts, emotions, and body states with our speech practice. We then introduce a fourth foundation, empathy practice, aiming to understand and connect with another, exploring the roots of such practice in the innate capacity of empathy. We then identify a simple yet basic practice of tuning into someone's emotions and "needs" (or what matters to someone), based on the work of Nonviolent Communication (developed first by Marshall Rosenberg). A discussion follows, particularly examining bringing these practices into challenging interactions. (Materials on emotions--or feelings, needs, and an "empathy map" are given below, under "documents.")

We look first at the importance of wise speech, the way that it forms an integral part of the path of awakening, the way that it is often underdeveloped in Western Buddhist practice, for various reasons, and some of the challenges of speech. We then examine three aspects of wise speech practice: (1) developing presence in the midst of communication; (2) working with the four guidelines for skillful speech developed by the Buddha; and (3) integrating our practice to be mindful and skillful with thoughts, emotions, and body states with our speech practice. The talk is followed by discussion, focused especially on some challenging relational and speech situations.

In the context of increased political polarization in the United States and many other places, we look at how, in so many settings, whether the larger political situation, or social change organizations, or spiritual communities, there is very often a lack of skill in working with differences and conflicts. We examine some of the roots of why being with differences and conflicts is hard, including widespread social conditioning to be either conflict-avoidant or conflict-indulgent, and several other core roots. We then suggest six basic practices which address these roots, including: (1) being willing to open to and explore differences and conflicts, (2) empathy, (3) working with views, (4) working with reactivity and difficult emotions, (5) wise speech, and (6) heart practices. The invitation to listeners is to practice these six (or some of the six) for the next period of time!

We focus, in the context of difficult or challenging communication, on the integration of individual, inner practice and skillful speaking. After a review of eight general guidelines for skillful speech and how we do inner practice related to, but separate from, such challenging communication, we look at ways to bring inner practice in speaking and relating. We also focus on several more "outer" skillful ways of speaking to bring about mutual understanding, including using relatively neutral observations free of interpretations, and cultivating the practice of empathy. We then look at how to integrate more inner and more outer dimensions of practice in the context of several challenging situations.

We review eight important capacities that help us to be skillful in difficult and challenging situations involving speech and communication. We then continue to explore how we might combine more "inner" and more "outer" responses, here focusing especially on "inner work" with difficult emotions (we look at working with anger and fear), thoughts and narratives (we look particularly at those connected with the judgmental mind), and body states. A discussion follows the talk.

After a brief review of the foundations of wise speech and the eight guidelines for skillful speech when there are difficult or challenging situations, we explore the connection of inner practices with such situations. We look at two dimensions of such practice: (1) looking at and transforming conditioning that makes it hard to engage in such situations, such as related to negative views about conflict and anger, and discerning when there is spiritual bypassing in relationship to difficulties; and (2) bringing mindfulness, inquiry, and investigation to difficult emotions such as anger, fear, sadness, etc.,and to thoughts and narratives (especially generated by the judgmental mind). We will continue this exploration, including of difficult body states, next time..