Desire forms the sense of self by fracturing the mind into what it wants compared to what it has. In moving with what it wants, it has to dismiss or resist reality (what it has) and form its own imaginative response. The sense of self is part of that fantasy buildup and has a central role in keeping it going.
As we study the Third Foundation of the Satipatthana Sutta we ask what is the mind and how does it seem to create a sense of self having the experience of an external world?
Mindfulness of the body gave us stability of focus and mindfulness of feelings gave us the mechanism for how we project ourselves onto the world. Now we are sufficiently prepared to look at the mind itself.
Equanimity does not empower feelings to drive thoughts. It holds a feeling as a feeling and does not extend the feeling into a narrative on why this feeling is important. It does not add anything to the moment, allowing the moment to bloom on its own.
Feelings move quickly into a narrative that captures our attention and promotes further images, all with their own feelings and further story. The sense of "I" arises, and we are surrounded by feelings and reactions to feelings, giving us a sense of ourselves in time and space. We call this life.
Neutral feelings pervade our life when we try to maintain a high level of intensity for our life's purpose and meaning. Busyness is an indication of this dependency, but as soon as the energy decreases below an established threshold, our mind wonders, and we become dull, listless, and uninterested. Awareness has not waned in the slightest, but we have been conditioned to stop paying attention.
Once a moment is avoided, a world view of division and separation springs forth, accompanied by a compelling narrative that justifies the aversion. Now we are in full armor with the world as our adversary, tying us to a ceaseless argument with it.
Once pleasure becomes a determined pursuit, the world divides itself into a pleasure/pain polarity. We now pursue pleasure, both to sustain a pleasant feeling and to avoid the discontent of pain.<br />
The Second Foundation of Feelings is most easily held within the First Foundation of Body. The body gives clues to the mind's feelings. Postures such as physically leaning toward, away, or wandering in confusion show that the body is moving in alignment to a conditioned reference.
