I ran across acclaimed poet, Rosemerry Trommer, several years ago in a volume where she shares about the loss of her son, Finn, who took his life at age 16. I had never read anything on grieving that touched me so deeply, that held so much wisdom, such a deep affirmation of love. I went on to read her collection All the Honey, and now her new one, The Unfolding. These books are filled with Post-its: I didn’t realize how much I needed Rosemerry’s words to remind me of what most matters. In our interview, we talk about the key themes in her poems: grief, love, opening to what’s difficult and what’s beautiful… saying yes to life. The Unfolding, by Rosemerry Wahtola Tromer, will help you remember the loving that most matters, and to say Yes to this precious life. This is a wonderful gift to your own spirit, and for dear ones in your life! Order Rosemerry’s books, here!

Grief is our natural way of expressing loss for what we love, and learning to open to grief serves the deepening and widening of our loving. This event, given at the Upaya Zen Center on June 25, 2023, includes short meditations and talks by Frank and Tara, and powerful sessions of questions and responses.

04:57 Q1 How to work with jealousy at others’ good fortune. 21:15 Q2 Living through old age, sickness and death is really highlighting my dread of being unreasonable and fitting in with familyWhat to do? 23:33 Q3 How can we use grief after the loss of a loved one? 27:36 Q4 Two similar questions: (a) I have experienced a loss of direction and feel no zest for living and insecurity overwhelms me. (b) Angry thoughts / emotional intensity lead to self admonishment. What can I do?

04:57 Q1 How to work with jealousy at others’ good fortune. 21:15 Q2 Living through old age, sickness and death is really highlighting my dread of being unreasonable and fitting in with family. What to do? 23:33 Q3 How can we use grief after the loss of a loved one? 27:36 Q4 Two similar questions: (a) I have experienced a loss of direction and feel no zest for living and insecurity overwhelms me. (b) Angry thoughts / emotional intensity lead to self admonishment. What can I do? 32:25 Q5 Can you expand your ideas about the connections between citta and cetena. 37:37 Q6 What is meant by the unconditioned? 42:56 Q7 What are the kasinas? 46:24 Q8 Can you speak about hiriottappa?

How we relate to change and loss is directly connected to how fully we live and love. This talk looks at the classic ways we avoid opening to the realness of loss, and how our sorrows and grief can become a portal to awakening our heart and spirit.

Grief and the process of mourning can be held as a sacred time that lends towards a greater capacity for compassion and a clearer knowing of what is truly precious in our life?

The Buddha said to reflect each day on the facts of old age, sickness and death. He also said to to come to terms with the fact that everything and everyone near and dear to us will be separated from us. In these Covid-19 days our practice becomes letting go of what was and adjust to a new way of being. This practice of impermanence includes opening to loss, grief and death which is explored in this talk.

Whether the climate crisis, some other social issue or personal loss, sharing our pain by connecting with another helps us hold and process our grief. By opening the heart we can transform our feeling of isolation into one of shared humanity. This talk ends with a guided experiential dyad exercise adapting Joanna Macy’s "Learning to See Each Other" meditation from Coming Back to Life.

These two talks look at how we relate to change – especially the notable changes involving loss of relationships and our own body and mind. We examine our strategies for avoiding uncertainty and fear; the consequences of resisting reality; our refuges of presence and compassion in the face of grief; and the gifts of opening fully to the river of change.

These two talks look at how we relate to change – especially the notable changes involving loss of relationships and our own body and mind. We examine our strategies for avoiding uncertainty and fear; the consequences of resisting reality; our refuges of presence and compassion in the face of grief; and the gifts of opening fully to the river of change.

To live our lives fully, we need to embrace the natural unfolding of birthing and dying. Yet we are deeply conditioned to resist loss, to pull away from fear and grief. Through a powerful Inuit story shared by Clarissa Estes, this talk explores how our practices of presence can open us to what we avoid, and free us to love without holding back.

Our capacity to live and love fully is entirely related to how we open to the truth of impermanence. This talk examines how our ways of trying to control life solidify our perception of being separate and threatened. We then look at the wings of mindful presence and compassion that open us to loss and grief, and reveal the loving awareness that is beyond birth and death.

We all encounter the great losses of our own health and life, and of cherished others. We are conditioned to resist opening to the rawness and grief that comes with loss. This talk describes the refuge of presence in the face of loss, and the gift of timeless love that arises as we make peace with the reality of this living, dying world. [NOTE: Tara was traveling this week, so offering a well-loved talk from 2010.]

We all encounter the great losses of our own health and life, and of cherished others. We are conditioned to resist opening to the rawness and grief that comes with loss. This talk describes the refuge of presence in the face of loss, and the gift of timeless love that arises as we make peace with the reality of this living, dying world.