Cara Lai spent most of her life trying to figure out how to be happy, or at least avoid total misery, so she sat still with her eyes closed for the majority of her adulthood. Throughout many consciousness adventures including a few mind-bendingly long meditation retreats, she has explored the wilderness of the mind, chronic illness, the importance of pleasure, and lots of other things that she might get in trouble for mentioning here. In the past, Cara has worked as an artist, wilderness guide, social worker and psychotherapist, but at this point she’s given up on being an adult in exchange for an all-out mindfulness rampage. Her teaching is relatable, authentic, funny and sometimes crass, and is accessible for many people. She teaches teens and adults at Inward Bound Mindfulness Education, Spirit Rock, Insight Meditation Society, and UCLA; ultimately hoping to bend spoons with her mind. And to help people be happier.
Pain is unavoidable; suffering is what we add by resisting it. This talk traces that distinction through a rage-filled retreat, an ongoing war with invasive shrubs, and the near enemies — pity, overwhelm, "fierce compassion" — that masquerade as care while keeping suffering at arm's length.
Choosing to be a householder and not a renunciate can be it's own deep path of practice. Chaos, emotional turmoil, lots to do, many to care for: these things don't have to be obstacles, but could actually be important benefits on a path to awakening. The path of the householder accelerates us towards patience, flexibility, compassion, and love.
In a society that prizes overachieving, we are taught to scale it back in meditation practice. But strong determination is also an essential quality on the path to awakening. Here's how to fold your ambition and perfectionism into your practice.
When we loosen our grip on being someone — the creator, the author, the one who did that thing — something opens. This talk explores renunciation not as deprivation but as the doorway to creativity, purpose, and an open heart.
Mindfulness isn't about pretending to be peaceful, it's about being real. Don't be afraid to be completely yourself. You are good and the world is waiting for you to stop believing otherwise.
A meditation on finding comfort in the simple goodness of this moment, followed by a talk about feeling alone with the task of being ok in the world, followed by a meditation to locate the comfort and care that reassures us that it's safe to let go.
Day 1 sitting instructions. Very short practice suitable for beginners emphasizing relaxed relationship to the objects of attention, balanced attitude, and how to set appropriate expectatioins about unintentional thinking during meditation.
