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Dharma Talks
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2025-12-17
Skillful Desire, Skillful Aversion, and the Winter Solstice
61:55
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Donald Rothberg
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We continue with the exploration opened up last week in our examination of "skillful desire," starting again with the common misunderstanding of the Buddha's teachings as suggesting giving up all wanting of the pleasant and all not wanting of the unpleasant. There are, to be sure, some passages in the teachings which seem to suggest this approach; here is one example, from the Sallatha Sutta about the results of practice: “Desirable things don't charm the mind, undesirable ones bring no resistance."
In the talk, we first review the nature of skillful desire and the distinction between skillful and unskillful desire. A starting reference point is the understanding of the sequence from contact to grasping in the teaching on Dependent Origination and. We look again at the Buddha's teachings on chanda or "skillful desire" and the importance of experiences of pleasure, joy, and happiness in different practice contexts. We then look in a similar way at skillful aversion, asking about the distinction between skillful and unskillful aversion, and pointing especially to the importance of inquiry into the experience of aversion; we look with some detail into the experience of anger. Finally, we connect our explorations with the experience of darkness and light at the time of the Winter Solstice, four days from now.
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Spirit Rock Meditation Center
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Monday and Wednesday Talks
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2025-12-16
Q&A
33:15
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Ajahn Sucitto
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00:10 Q1 Can you say something about handling concerns about people quarreling, people sick, family members? 08:40 Q2 I get a vibration in my body that progresses up through the body. It produces a peaceful and equanimous feeling. Why is this happening and what should I do next? 13:27 Q3 I get warmed when I engage in standing meditation. What's happening? 13:43 Q4 During one meditation when one attains full concentration and calmness, how does one feel in mind? What does one hear? What is the colour when one closes one's eyes? Do we still feel breathing? What's happening? 16:16 Q5 When I sit I get a sudden jolt. Is this sloth and torpor. 16:41 Q6 Why does thinking about revenge although unwholesome, feel good?
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Bandar Utama Buddhist Society
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BUBS Silent Retreat
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2025-12-15
Q&A
38:46
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Ajahn Sucitto
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Q1 In the case of someone who doesn't take the three refugees or five precepts but is a good person and does no harm, can they become an arahant? 02:35 Q2 Can you elaborate on your comment 'pain is impersonal'? 23:43 Q3 It's said it's needed to straighten one's view and establish one's virtue before cultivating santipatthana what are the signposts to look after? 30:47 Q4 when doing walking meditation my eyes tend to lock on to visual objects in front of me. And when sitting, even with the eyes closed, my eyes seem to strain and look internally and I feel tired and tense how do I de-focus my eyes? 34:54 Q5 during city meditation my body moves forwards and backwards. What should I do? 36:55 Q6 I've been going through my diaries in order to discard them. Some entries bring up things I forgot and some are strongly disturbing. I meditate on these but is it wise to carry on this process? I'm not ready to throw the diaries without going through them.
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Bandar Utama Buddhist Society
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BUBS Silent Retreat
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2025-12-14
Q&A
57:43
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Ajahn Sucitto
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00:00 Q1 How does anapanasati fulfill satipatthana and how does satipatthana fulfill the bojjhanga? 05:27 Q2 Do we intentionally steady the sankhara or do they settle themselves? 14:59 Q3 How do I develop the maha-citta / the great heart? 22:40 Q4 When sitting inside and close the eyes I feel confined. However if I sit outside, I close my eyes and enjoy it. Am I attaching or not? 28:40 Q5 How can I use the sound of silence as my meditation object? 32:18 Q6 I feel a density or solidity in the head. How can I dissolve this? 49:57 Q7 Can you relate the breach of precepts to karma? 53:07 Q8 I am currently learning a type of QiGong which strictly prohibits eating meat and I feel better. But Buddhism allows me to eat meat. What should I do?
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Bandar Utama Buddhist Society
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BUBS Silent Retreat
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2025-12-13
Q&A
43:09
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Ajahn Sucitto
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Q1 When I meditate my mind is calm I can hear the breathing but at the same time my mind is also thinking about outstanding matters. I can't seem to prevent the pressure or momentum to think about myself or unfinished tasks. What should I do? 34:32 Q2 How do we develop equanimity?
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Bandar Utama Buddhist Society
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BUBS Silent Retreat
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2025-12-13
Q&A
45:56
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Ajahn Sucitto
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00:23 Q1 How do we define a real state of meditation? Is it merely focus and concentration? Should we do samatha first or vipassana or both combined? 23:39 Q2 During walking meditation do we still observe breathing at the nostrils or radiating metta? 28:17 Q3 Is it okay to use the mantra Budho for walking meditation and during daily life activities? 29:32 Q4 I have committed some mistakes in the past, one which lost me a dear old friend and another one which causes me huge embarrassment every time I think about it. I feel a huge degree of sense of remorse and given the opportunity I would not do it again. What can I do to overcome this?... [and] During meditation my emotions are triggered. Should I come back to the breath or feel the emotion in the body? 37:22 Q5 How can I note intentions especially during meal time? There are so many of them! 40:27 Q6 What's the rationale behind not reading during a retreat? 42:29 Q7 When a person we love is doing harmful things, not correct practice despite your advice, they don't listen, how do I practice dhamma to avoid disappointment and sadness. 44:19 Q8 When it's in meditation my head naturally tilts upward. At this point the connection between the spine and the neck clicks. How to avoid it?
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Bandar Utama Buddhist Society
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BUBS Silent Retreat
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2025-12-10
Skillful Desire
60:41
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Donald Rothberg
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Sometimes people interpret the Buddha's teachings as suggesting giving up all wanting of the pleasant and all not wanting the unpleasant, and that equanimity has no wanting or not wanting; there are some passages in the teachings which seem to suggest this approach. However, the Buddha in a number of ways pointed to what we might call "skillful desire."
We explore this in several ways. First, we go back to the teaching on Dependent Origination and the sequence from contact to grasping. We can identify that sequence as illustrating unskillful desire (or wanting) followed by grasping (as well as unskillful aversion). Secondly, we explore the Buddha's teachings on chanda, which could be translated as "skillful desire." Thirdly, we look at the role of experiences of pleasure, joy, and happiness in different practice contexts, and ask more generally about the nature of skillful desire (and some on "skillful aversion") in everyday life. What characterizes desire being unskillful or skillful? The talk is followed by discussion.
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Spirit Rock Meditation Center
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Monday and Wednesday Talks
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2025-12-01
Q&A
50:15
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Ajahn Sucitto
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00:00 Q1 After a few years of meditation and keeping precepts the mind starts to dwell in beautiful states. The mind still struggles taking mind states as me. Can you provide some guidance? 09:00 Q2 Is pitti only felt in the body. I don't often get the sensations in the body however I do get a light mind and a smile. 12:28 Q3 The thinking mind is the builder isn't it? The house builder talked about in the suttas? 24:29 Q4 Where is citta? 25:48 Q5 If we can be aware of the body, mind and citta, what is it that watches them? Is it awareness or consciousness that is apart from them? 36:51 Q6 In the Sanyutta Nikaya, the collected sayings 46:54 says the cultivation of the heart's release through metta is beauty. How do you understand this? 42:56 Q7 I've noticed some people seem to have absolutely no empathy or sense of shame or concern for consequences. But I understand the sense of shame etc called hiri and otappa are supposed to be innate in all of us. Why are they absent in some people? 45:11 Q8 What is it referred to in the homage to the sangha, the four pairs, the 8 kinds of noble beings?
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Nira Nara Retreat Centre
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Silent Retreat with Ajahn Sucitto
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2025-11-30
Q&A
41:56
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Ajahn Sucitto
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Questions précised: 00:23 Q1 Can you give me some advice on self forgiveness? I can easily forgive others but not myself. 15:58 Q2 I don't usually experience deep samadhi but in the past few days there's much stillness in the sitting and the body feels heavy and grounded. Is this the right direction? 19:45 Q3 in order to develop sati we should come out of thoughts or thinking. Isn't that attempt just more thinking? 31:15 Q4 Generally speaking is there a difference in Buddhist approach to emotional psychological pain and physical pain? 40:44 Q5 Can you explain the difference between citta and mind?
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Nira Nara Retreat Centre
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Silent Retreat with Ajahn Sucitto
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2025-11-29
Q&A
34:57
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Ajahn Sucitto
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00:07 Q1 There is body contemplation and contemplation of death. Can I contemplate things such as my work, my relationships with a fear of failing? How do I do it? 20:28 Q2 You mentioned during Qigong making a circle with the arms and concentrating within the ring. I found this very helpful to calm the mind. Is there something similar to help calm the mind during sitting or standing meditation? 29:40 Q3 You said the world begins and ends in the body. I'm rather used to hearing that the mind is the source of everything. Can you clarify this please?
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Nira Nara Retreat Centre
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Silent Retreat with Ajahn Sucitto
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